don’t date someone you wouldn’t have a harry potter movie marathon with
That’s nearly 24 hours. I wouldn’t do that with anyone
…the weak are already weeding themselves out…
Today was a really traumatic day for me. I’m still reeling. I lost something today, it feels, something that I’m not going to get back. Things just aren’t going to be the same anymore. I may or may not just involuntarily detach.
i honestly cannot even describe how i’m feeling. like i got hollowed out by a spoon. i can’t get myself to do my work. i can’t get myself to go to class today. i can’t get myself to do anything i just feel so overwhelmingly insecure and set aside and nothing is getting me to feeling better. especially now i can’t even begin to do this quiz and i now have 15 minutes to submit it and i have absolutely nothing for these two response questions. i’m screwed. i’ll be just getting by this class, if that’s even fucking possible. i haven’t felt this shitty about myself and about everything in a while. i just want to give up.. i just want to go home but not to those people just to someone who will make me feel like a person. i just feel….less. like i am just. less. or even nothing. i’m so distressed and lost and close to a breakdown i don’t know what to do with myself. i feel like i’ve hit a breaking point. and i don’t even care i’m just gonna let myself break. i’ve been trying to fight it but i’m just done.
yeah. i guess i’m returning it.
ugh. i feel like just returning it. what if when he does see me in it it still elicits the same response. not really what i was hoping.. i mean if i bought it obv i’m trying real hard thinking you know, it’ll do something. idk. feels like why waste the effort and money. it’s just like anything else. nothing special. maybe its good i linked it. i think i’d be crushd if this was what i go when he did see me in it. just a simple, i like the colors.
my body is so fucking unattractive. fucking a. i need to fucking work on this shit goddammit. so fucking gross.
how can i even wear it and make it look as nice i can’t even like get my body together ugh. idk what to do with it. it kinda seems unexciting and pointless now. pointless hype i had over it. i really like it… and i could technically just wear it for myself but idk.
ain’t even gonna call it out bruhhhh. went shopping with Dez and Jelly today Dez looked amazing and it was a very accomplished shopping endeavor indeed. need to work on how i can style my bob to look like a badass pixie or whatever, try to scor a new cardigan or cropped jacket, and my own pair of high waisted jeans that aren’t to big on me.
got my hopes up when you phrase it like that..kinda disappointed..
Okay, Leticia -
You’re gonna listen to your own pathetic fucking self now okay, because no one else bothers to read any shit on here, no one else bothers to try to get to know you on the same damn level you know yourself and it’s not like anyone is meant to, so damned the effort not put out. We’ve been saying this together from day fucking one - I will figure it out.
So this is what you’re gonna fucking do, okay? You’re gonna work on that god damned fucking resume tomorrow night and get it reviewed somewhere somehow. But you’re not just gonna fucking apply to fucking Costco okay, apply to peets and fucking starbucks and fucking academy of sciences.
You’re gonna talk to auny joji about moving out. about progressing. about becoming your own. don’t settle. for anything. don’t settle. it’s fucking scary and it’s gonna be fucking hell getting where you need to go but it sure as hell wasn’t fucking easy getting to where you are today. you went through that bullshit. can’t get any worse.