Okay, Leticia -
You’re gonna listen to your own pathetic fucking self now okay, because no one else bothers to read any shit on here, no one else bothers to try to get to know you on the same damn level you know yourself and it’s not like anyone is meant to, so damned the effort not put out. We’ve been saying this together from day fucking one - I will figure it out.
So this is what you’re gonna fucking do, okay? You’re gonna work on that god damned fucking resume tomorrow night and get it reviewed somewhere somehow. But you’re not just gonna fucking apply to fucking Costco okay, apply to peets and fucking starbucks and fucking academy of sciences.
You’re gonna talk to auny joji about moving out. about progressing. about becoming your own. don’t settle. for anything. don’t settle. it’s fucking scary and it’s gonna be fucking hell getting where you need to go but it sure as hell wasn’t fucking easy getting to where you are today. you went through that bullshit. can’t get any worse.
You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
And what sucks is that you STILL don’t read this shit. I’m ridiculously exhausted. I still feel like I’m on anu never boat tipping on my side. I’m just some mediocre words like pretty and cute, forget gorgeous and stunning. I have no self esteem and I feel like I should just take the offers that are out on the table, even if they are from drunk 25 year olds who hit on me at work
I am going to work extra hard this semester to learn to live without you. That way I don’t end up running the risk. Just in case. I have to be prepared. A smart girl leaves before she is left.
I just wish I had someone to physically comfort me. Or company for christssake. Just me in my own damn world I guess it’s about time I started getting used to it. I feel like if I became more detached and emotionally prepared myself to let go of everything not a single person would notice me pulling away.
Going to go on a run tomorrow morning before class. It’s been kinda lonely at school. Guess I gotta make new friends. I don’t even know if it’s worth the time and effort.